Note: some names have been changed for privacy reasons.
Ok, so how would this sound to you? A guy takes a shot of the purest and strongest hallucinogen known to mankind at this moment, straight into his veins. It is an estimated hundred times stronger than smoking it, which is already stronger than drinking it the traditional (indigenous) way. If this sounds like something ‘bad’, it shocked you, you have negative thoughts about it, any judgement or if you have any relationship with the standard dogmas around altered states of consciousness, you haven’t read enough. You have been misinformed. Look up the documentary or the book ‘DMT – The Spirit Molecule’ and educate yourself.
There is a war on consciousness going on and if you haven’t a clue of what I talk about, it is time to be open at least to the possibility of it. Anyway, back to the story of our warrior friend.
In short his experience was a total fragmentation of his soul, his essence, his deepest being. Like a glass thrown against a brick wall, exploding into thousands of little pieces. He then journeyed through fragmented dimensions where everything was inside out, upside down, far from comparable to our ordinary reality. Not comparable at all actually. In the end he encountered a higher form of intelligence who according to them ‘put him back together, but not in the same way as he was shattered into oblivion’. Returning to the here and now, he realized he had died completely. Pure death. His life was never the same after. It was as if his old soul left the body and a completely different one entered again. He would not feel a connection with some of his old friends anymore, people he had known for a long time. They would feel it too. His healing capabilities skyrocketed afterwards. Huge awakening. Huge transformation. Yesterday I met another dude who worked with a different substance. Something that taught him the deepest mechanisms of our universe. Injected also. The ultimate letting go… Finally I heard about a snake venom called Jergon, which can teach you about ultimate love. It is something similar to Sapo (the Kambo frog) in the sense of its application. The effects however are less strenuous on the physique. It can teach you all you can ever know about love. Interesting no? The venom of a snake can teach you about love. The venom of a frog can boost your immune system by detoxifying the glands and ridding yourself of negative energies.
There is a fine line between spiritual evolution with the plants and those of ‘upgraded medicine’. I haven’t figured it out exactly but without direct experience it is impossible to form any kind of judgement… In essence we should and cannot judge anyone at all actually, ever. We have not lived their lives, we don’t have their body, we don’t have their thoughts, we don’t have their eyes and we don’t know where they are coming from. It is therefore an illusion to think that you can ever have a grounded opinion about someone that is true in its core. You simply cannot know, so never judge a book by its cover and don’t by its content either since you haven’t read the book.
I’ve returned from the jungle and arrived in Iquitos yesterday. The last couple of days have been tough. “Why am I here? What the hell am I supposed to do here? I don’t feel like I am progressing. I don’t seem to feel like I am on the right path.” These were some of the questions and statements that occupied my mind. I am fully aware of self-sabotage mechanisms, plateaus in development (any type of training will have these) and more importantly; my need for control. It’s not the first time that I have doubts about where I am and what I am going to do next. I realize that being here for a few weeks is giving me a new perspective on old belief systems and limits of the mind. Yet, knowing all this, I still ask myself if I should just let it all go. Hop on a plane to the beach and be there. Relax, chill out, surf! meet people and let it be. This spiritual path… it’s not really for me right? What am I thinking, to become some sort of hocus pocus energy healer? Me? Maybe I have just imagined whatever I experienced during 2014/2015 in the ceremonies. The energies that I have felt in others, the blockages I helped them release so they could heal themselves, the energy work with Fiona my ex-partner. Hell, I can write a book full of insane experiences that drive me towards discovering more about energetic work. Yet, all this doubt. Is this really for me?
You see, I keep hearing these incredible fairy tale like stories of people. Of their process, the breakthroughs they have had, the healings they have been able to do for other people. Why can I not do this? Why am I not experiencing these things? More often than not, self-doubt kicks in, impatience, the want to give up. Fortunately I have encountered these themes a lot already on this path… and then I laugh. I smile because I can hear my mind talk and I can thank the dialogue in my head for sharing. Something I have learned from Paul Stefan and Fabiana, my close guides of the past two years. We have been creating a book together about topics such as the meaning of life on earth, the connection between souls, the clear senses (clairvoyance, clairaudience, claircognizance and clairsentience), about karma and dharma, about duality, about the functioning of the multi-verse, our multidimensional infinite energetic reality. I was reading over the passages yesterday and was reminded of our human nature. How most of us have this deep need to be in control, to know before we begin, to somehow see the structure lined out of the road we are walking in life. Time and time again when I become aware of what I am putting myself into I just end up bursting into laughter. I keep falling for the trap of taking things serious. How I want to know everything. How I sometimes look at the world and find it difficult to accept that there are so many people doing horrible things to others. How that is actually a reflection of the parts in myself that I am unable to unite in those moments. I then just smile and look at where I was a year ago. How serious I took things. How incredibly hard I was on myself back then. And that sometimes I forget all that and still take myself so seriously, hahahahah!!
Osho says: “Life as it is should be enough reason to laugh. It is so absurd, it is so ridiculous. It is so beautiful, it is so wonderful. It is all sorts of things together. It is a great cosmic joke.”
It’s not about knowing… it is about letting go… My friend Bubba here explained to me the ‘art of healing’. How it is more similar to children playing without thinking, about following the flow. Paul Stefan and Fabiana also taught me, in depth, about control and flow. How they go hand in hand. They are not each other’s enemies, similar to that the mind is not our enemy. All of those beliefs (that they are our enemies, or contradict each other) create separation. Separation creates confusion, non-acceptance of the self, doubt and may lead to abandonment of the real beauty that lies behind without even knowing about it. Without ever experiencing it. Huh… yeah… I forgot… again… lol. Always been taught about input/output. Rational mechanistic view on life. Trust me, starting with car mechanics, then a bachelor in Aviation Engineering and then an MSc in Aerospace Engineering will get the wheels of rationale in your head spinning so fast that there is little space left for intuition, magick, believing in the unseen and letting go of control!! I sure chose one hell of a path of incarnation in this lifetime. Time and time again I learn to not take it so seriously.
I love this piece by George Carlin:
“The enlightened fool is the one who sees the ego trips of society and can still find joy and laughter in its midst. The fool is often the enlightened one, the one with crazy wisdom, with laughter and jokes as their weapon, they cut through the mundane conformity and bring to light the latent child like bliss bubbling just beneath the surface of all seriousness. The fool possesses a wisdom that is out of reach of the conformist. A playful attitude in touch with enormous amounts of creativity”
Being far away from home in a place where people still believe in magick and live by it, is quite inspiring. Black magick is something feared here and not to be ridiculed for example. With good reasons I am starting to understand by now. The stories of people experiencing this directly including westerners are increasing by the day. Eastern philosophy and the shamanic viewpoint on how our reality functions at its deepest core coincide remarkably well. Our scientist are confirming more and more of the ancient teachings. Everything is energy. Everything is made up of vibrations. Match the frequency of the vibration and you match the energy that belongs with it. Another thing explained to me yesterday by Bubba. Another repetitive lessons. Something I have also had the good fortune to directly experience with the medicine of Ayahuasca. You receive what you send out. He explained that the art of healing is about matching this frequency. Then you will be able to cancel out the unbalanced vibration. The physical effect in the body may not be noticeable straight away but will soon follow. His idea is that it doesn’t matter what you really do, the tool you use to match the frequency so to speak. Whether you bang a drum, give them a massage, sing a song or beat them with a stick. If you are able to match the frequency of their illness you will help them heal. Interesting viewpoints. The same works for our thoughts, for they create frequencies that we send out with which we attract new experiences. This became evident during ayahuasca ceremonies for me. The importance of radiating gratitude. The importance on seeing everything as love. You have to learn all about love. The darkness, the negativities, they are all tools to approach the light. To learn more about unconditional love. You have to be love.
The expats that I am meeting here are one of a kind. Iquitos attracts an interesting bunch of folks. Driven by a want to learn, to deepen their introspective awareness, to learn about plant medicine or some maybe just to escape our world back home. It feels like scenes out of Mad Max but then in a jungle setting. Rough and bearded, fully tattooed big guys. Welcome to the wild west of Peru. I’m excited about the people I will meet today and the next days. Heard of a proficient ayahuasquero near Iquitos with whom I will do ceremony upcoming Tuesday. There is a guy working with extracts of plants, powerful stuff. Another guy here does some kind of warfare like massaging body work with weapons. Very hard to go through I’ve heard but apparently liberating. Let’s see if I’m up for that.